I will throw an avocado at you next time.

To The Mean, Mean Old Man Who Works at Stop & Shop And Supervises, Nay, Hovers About The Self-Checkout Aisles With Totally Unnecessary Fervor,

Nobody is in line behind me. Stop shouting out instructions. Stop angrily bagging my groceries. I was going to bag them myself, but you didn't give me the chance, and now I'm left with the bitter aftertaste of your hateful scowl. Let me scroll through the produce menu until I find the avocado that best resembles the actual avocado I have in front of me. Don't rush me. I am in the self-checkout aisle because I don't want cranky bastards like you interfering with my shopping experience. I hate so much about the things you choose to be.

Love,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Student Who Only Patrons The Store You Work At Because It's Right Across The Street And My Feet Hurt And Dammit I Want To Eat Dinner Before The Premiere Of The Office Starts.