Don't get any crazy on you!

Weird things I have said or done lately:

1. To the taxi driver, after giving my address: "Apartment number two." What??? He is not going to drive me upstairs.
2. To a guy in my creative writing class regarding a scene in his story where he is mean to his ex-girlfriend: "That part made me want to punch you." (Class laughs nervously, I hastily scribble a disclaimer on my critique that I do not condone physical violence.)
3. On the near-silent subway, I start making up a joke to myself and accidentally burst out laughing, causing everyone sitting around me to scoot away a few inches. To be fair, it was a pretty good joke.
4. I decide to go to the school library, which is on the third floor. Although you're supposed to take the stairs to floors 2 and 3, I'm feeling lazy and nobody else is around so I head to the elevator. Before I push the button for my floor, a professor gets on with me and says "Six, please." I push it, and then hesitate for too long, causing her to say, "Oh good, we're going to the same floor. That almost never happens." So I smile and take the elevator with her to the sixth floor and then walk down the stairs to the third floor. Ridiculous.

What I Want To Be If I Grow Up

Sometimes it seems like the people I go to school with came out of the womb knowing what career they want to pursue. They just popped right out with cigarettes in their mouths clutching video cameras or microphones or screenplays or makeup brushes. And here I am, in my junior year, the year where I'm supposed to be getting internships and networking with professionals and building a portfolio, and I just don't know.

It seems like I come up with a new idea every two seconds. Career paths that I've considered in the last few months include humor writer, professional blogger, graphic designer, memoir author, copyeditor, professor of literature, travel writer, book editor, career counselor (the irony is not lost on me!), hostel-worker in buenos aires, magazine founder and editor, literary critic, interior decorator, diamond appraiser, handyman, museum curator, web designer, painter, children's author. All in the last few months!

What I most like to do is learn. I love school and wish that I had the money to just keep taking class after class. I want to be proficient in all the Adobe software, I want to learn to take good photos and learn about lighting, I want to learn Spanish and French and Mandarin and Dutch and more, I want to read everything. I think the problem is that I don't really want to do anything, I just want to know, because there's no chance of judgment or criticism attached to knowing and besides, it's more fun anyway.